Still living

Today The sun rose And the motorway is already caffeinated with traffic but you are not here My body still functions well It longs for you in waves – prickles hot at night There are thousands of reasons to celebrate the miraculous synchronized unfolding of tiny things But you are not here I hit the vein of revelation multiple times in a day now and the seasons circulate dervishly fast without pause Stories pour out of me like a weeping child for something lost But why now collect them in jars like fireflies? Who can I delight with and display them to? to share the laughter? you are not here My talking is a shortwave static It bounces off buildings and granite mountainsides without comprehension these other people lack the right componentry for reception I call your name constantly without phonation or an audible frequency I look for you in the piles of leaves raked to the edges of the path you walked down leading……………. to my door. I look into the shower stall, the kitchen sink, the drain outside for strands of your hair to wind myself around or the accidental touch of your hand left lying in the carpet I crawl up Queen Street and contemplate making a police report as I snuffle past Central station I climb trees in the Domain and keep Meercat watch atop the steps of the Museum for a clearer perspective I search for meaning in the cryptic crosswords, Sudoku numbers and supermarket dockets I wait red-eyed and overtired wired for my cheese to return I suck on honey dipped spoons to try and replicate your taste My innards spill out of their casing where it has frayed at the seems I look for you everywhere but you are not here Who is there to tuck me in at night or pull away the sheets? My seeds are shedding to fall wasted on earthless asphalt that you may once have traced with your shoes angels seem my enemies now – my saviour a betrayer truth is unused and neglected for want of an occasion What is the point of all this crushing beauty? Why bother with breath? Everything is Still living but you are not here